Monday, June 13, 2016

The Language of Pregnancy

I am pregnant and in my last trimester. I feel gaggy sitting long periods at the computer, so I haven't written very much.

Pregnancy: nine months a man will never understand

Pregnancy: nine months of the mother's body suppressing the immune system against a foreign object...the baby

Morning sickness: that feeling in the pit of your stomach, rising to your throat, out your mouth and twirling in your head.

Ginger: the pretend spice that's supposed to make me feel better.

Lemonade: all I could drink for 3 months.

First pregnancy husband: held my hair when I threw up and got me a water after.

2nd and 3rd pregnancy husband: got me water to drink after retching

4th pregnancy husband: stays where he is at and occasionally brings me water after. He's at a loss about what to do because he has no control.

Toilet: my best friend.

Chunky, spicy food: my worst enemy.

Bile: the yellow color I see many mornings in the toilet bowl.

Tired: a permanent state of being.

Bending: I could do it two weeks ago.

Group Strep B: Antibiotics pumped into my system until I am dead.

Sugar in urine: watch out gestational diabetes!

Birth: the painful event I dread, but so look forward to. Get this baby out!

Epidural: if the anesthesiologist misses my spine (2nd baby) or causes my blood pressure to drop because he says I don't need a bag of saline solution (3rd baby), I will scream!

I hated the anesthesiologist on my first pregnancy because he was brusque, but he aimed right on the first poke and made sure I had enough saline so my blood pressure didn't drop. Poor anesthesiologists.

2nd pillow: to support my tummy when I lie on my side.

3rd pillow: to put between my legs so my hips stay aligned.

4th pillow: optional pillow to support my back.