Watch Out for the B Poem

"Red Glassy Bison" by Piotr Siedlecki

On my personal Facebook page, I asked my friends and family to give me 20 B words. I got a list of 21 or 22. You want to count them? I don't. Okay, I counted them: 22.

This is the list of B words:

brush, bison, belligerent, brown, bicep, beryllium, buccinators, bacon, balloon, Bolivia, beginning, bravo, bulbous, bingo, brachylogy, buxom, baloney, believe, bugging, Beetle Juice, brachiosaurus, Bilbo

Some of these words reflect the personality of the person who supplied them. I'm sure there may be stories behind the other choices.

A nurse chose buccinators.
Brother-in-law in Montana chose bison.
A body coach chose bicep.
My cousin chose brachylogy. He posts occasionally on FB.

Other words beginning with b sneaked in while I wrote: bore, boy, bellowed, but, Bruce, Bertha, birth, bowels, banish, and bone.


Here's the poem:

Buxom Bertha labored two days, then bore a boy.
Her belligerent spouse declared the boy, Beetle Juice;
“Baloney!” Bertha bellowed and popped out a second joy.
“Fine, Beetle Juice and Bilbo—but not the name Bruce.”

Bertha believed in bulbous biceps for her lads
And fed them bison bacon from birth, but no beryllium.
Beginning in their buccinators, BJ and Bilbo chewed scads,
But their bowels hurt and mum gave them husk of psyllium.

“Stop bugging me!” BJ punched Bilbo’s brown balloon.
“Mum and Dad will banish you to Bolivia,” Bilbo cried.
He threw BJ’s bone brush and brachiosaurus toward the moon.
BJ ran and caught beloved broccoli-saur midstride.

“Bravo, BJ!” Bertha called from the window.
“Bingo!” Dad jumped and threw down his newspaper.
The brachylogy and praise bugged poor Bilbo.
Bilbo growled, “You won’t get away with this caper!”


My cousin-in-law asked on Facebook: "Why you picking on Bruce?" 

I replied: "Because he happens to rhyme with juice. That's the only reason. Rhyming misfortune."

A cousin included brachiosaurus because her oldest daughter called it a broccoli-saurus as a toddler. So technically, the word comes from my cousin once removed. I made a tribute to them with broccoli-saur.

To my brother-in-law who lived in Bolivia for two years: I'm not picking on Bolivia. It just happened to be a word I had to use.

Inclusive Language: No One or No Man

I was never really interested in Star Trek until I wanted to impress a boy I liked in high school. As a group of friends, we watched the older movies.

As it happens, I married another Trekkie. In the first few months of our marriage, we watched the original Star Trek where I heard "To boldly go where no man has gone before" with every intro.

The Faux Pas

During my Modern American Usage class the next semester, the professor asked for examples of sexist or inclusive language.

"Where no man has gone before," I said.

Suddenly two or three people in the class objected: "No, it's 'where no one has gone before.'"

I cowered, but I knew I was right!

Well, I hadn't watched Star Trek: Next Generation yet where Gene Roddenberry had changed the introduction to inclusive language. I wish I had defended myself better because what I shared showed the evolution of inclusive language and the feminist movement from the 60s to 80s.

The Generic Man

Over thousands of years, our language has narrowed generic human nouns and pronouns into gender-specific nouns and pronouns. Old English used wer for adult male, but speakers replaced it with man. The meaning of man meant male or female until AD 1000. It retained the sense of people for longer. Mankind and manslaughter still mean male or female or both, though we are switching to humankind.

The feminist movement spearheaded language change where we created gender neutral terms. For example, look at the switches in these job titles:

"Funny Hospital Sign" by Linneae Mallette

• Steward/stewardess--flight attendant
• Waiter/waitress--server
• Congressmen--members of Congress 
• Actor/actress--gender-neutral actor
• Policeman--police officers

Congressman and policeman are examples of male-dominated occupations. Ironically, we distinguish men in traditionally female vocations. Eventually, we may not distinguish gender for these jobs:

• Male nurse
• Male elementary school teacher

Clunky Pronouns

Inclusive language has led to rather clunky pronouns. We have such strange constructions as s/he, he or she, or generic 'one.' He or she, his or her constructions seems more popular. Some publications choose male or female pronouns based on their target audience.

We, humans, prefer simplicity and drop clunky word constructions over time. Other languages have gender-neutral pronouns built in so English speakers are gradually changing to the singular gender-neutral they/their/them (or rather returning to a gender-neutral term). The style manual community is beginning to recognize this grassroots solution too.

Oxford Dictionaries recognizes the change to singular they/their/them here, and Author Annette Lyon discusses it here. So if a teacher or professor complains about your use of the singular they, refer them to those two links. However, it's probably best to follow their style guide for a good grade.

Correlating Male and Female Pairs

"Enjoying the Day" by Bobbi Jones Jones

When using male and female pairs, the roles should match. For example, "man and wife" changes to "husband and wife." Some argue that this doesn't make any difference, and it doesn't always matter. Yet it can mold society.

In some cases of unequal male/female pairs, sexist language promotes sexual conquest.

Occasionally, I here the lyrics to "Only Girl in the World" by Rihanna on the radio, which reflects our broader culture. (Not to pick on Rihanna, just the words. She may or may not mean to promote this idea and she has experienced abuse herself.)

Read the lyrics:

Cause I'm the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man (yeah)
Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world.

Apparently, sex makes a male a man and a female a girl.

First, an adult male does not have to have sex in order to be a man. He is already a man by definition. Teenage males and men need more encouragement to value lasting intimacy over one night stands (females too).

Second, indicating an adult woman as a girl demeans a woman of her maturity and strength. Women are not beneath men, but equals. The man/girl pair in this song perpetuates violence against women. And the opposite woman/boy pair perpetuates violence against men.

Looking at Someone's Intent

"60s Lips" by Talia Felix

We are sensitive about how we use certain terms in our language, including sexist language. We've made many strides to inclusive language, but their remains "sexist" language. I put it in quotes because not everyone intends to be sexist when using these terms. 

Older generations use terms from their time periods meaning no disrespect. Newer generations--like me--use terms they grew up with and exchange their terms over time. 

So what can you do in these situations? 

First, look at the person's intent beneath the spoken word. That's what really matters. 

Second, you may kindly correct someone in private. No need for public shaming. Publicly or privately shaming someone shows your disrespect toward others (despite your efforts for inclusive language). Most people will respect your position when you show respect for them. They may even follow your example.

If someone uses sexist terms with intent to hurt, call them out in private. Some cases may necessitate a public reprimand but do so respectfully. After all, inclusive language is about respecting everyone.

Sometimes correcting sexist language only wastes our effort. Some people don't care to change their attitude, and correcting them will only exhaust us. Some people won't understand what we're talking about. Others may understand and respect our position, but still use some features of "sexist" language, meaning no disrespect. For example, some "sexist" language--like generic man--isn't meant to be sexist in most situations.

A Change of Heart

Every few decades, we change terms for races, developmental problems, mental illnesses, and so on. For example, the term for special needs has changed within my lifetime from slow, mentally retarded, handicapped, developmentally delayed to special needs. I don't even know the current term because it's constantly changing. After a decade, any term--no matter how politically correct--has a negative connotation.

So how do we stop the negative connotation?

We must change our hearts first toward others different from us. Likewise, inclusive language itself won't change how genders view each other unless we respect our gender and the opposite gender.

As we respect and love one another despite our differences, inclusive language will take hold.

Have you ever corrected someone for sexist language? Have you ever been corrected for sexist language? Do you think you need to work on your own heart?

Here's Why Side Does Not Belong in Upside Down

I awoke and stared at a children's book on my floor. It was upside down. Where did we get the phrase upside down? It is literally the up side being down. I looked up the etymology of the word and I was wrong. Here's the real way the word came about:

Upside down comes from Middle English upsadoun, or the combination of up so down. So meant as if, so it meant up as if down. Nothing to do with the word side. Upside down first appeared with side in the late 1500s. Earlier written versions retained so.

How did side come into our phrase upside down?

Somewhere along the line, we probably confused the 'sad' of upsadoun to mean side. Without widespread literacy or writing, humans rely on sound to make meaning. We have the word upside which is up + side that came into Enlish several hundred years later (1610 written). The phrase inside out is literally in+side+out historically. I wondered if side was related to the word so, but side is from a separate root Old English sid (which means long). Considering these phrases, upside down seems like it should have been side and not so originally.

The side in upside down makes more sense in my mind than up so down. Middle English speakers thought so too. Maybe I should just write and say up so down and see if anyone understands me. How many blank looks do you think I'll get?

If You Moved to England, What Would You Speak?

"England" by George Hodan

So many of our languages are named after the names of the original countries and founders, but we equate our language to only be what we speak in our country. Why doesn't each country have its own language? That'd be confusing. Colonization led to European languages being spoken worldwide. Thus we have confusion about this--let alone what children try to figure out.

My friend Michelle C. moved to Mexico and many other places with her husband and children, so her children wonder what language will be spoken next. After their move to Mexico, her son would always ask her whether "the humans spoke Virginia or Mexican." Later, she had this conversation with her daughter:

J: Mom, where will we live when G turns two?
Me: I don't even know. Where would you like to live?
J: Ummm.
Me: China? Madagascar? Brazil?
D: Brazil! Brazil! Brazil! 

Me: Argentina? Zambia? Germany? England?

J: England! Then we can learn how to speak England!

Me: Wait, what? What do you think we are speaking right now?

J: We speak English. 

Me: They speak English in England, too.

J: What does their English sound like? Bonjour?

Me, laughing: No, sweetie, that's French, which is spoken in France.

J: Oh. Well, do I know how to speak their English?

Me: Yes. Their English is very similar to our American English.

J: What is the difference?

Me: Well, their words sound different. (Then I tried and failed miserably at some sort of generic British accent.)

J: That sounds like our English.

D: Brazil! Brazil! Brazil!

I'm still laughing about it this morning. "Let's move to England, so we can learn how to speak England!"

After reading this on Facebook, I asked my preteen son what language England speaks. He didn't know it was English either. And it only gets more confusing when you consider that there is more than one language spoken in many countries. Darn that Tower of Babel.

Try an experiment. Ask someone what a country speaks and report back in the comments.

What's the Singular of Clothes?--According to Two Girls

"Pink Dresses & Accessories" by Karen Arnold

This is a guest post from Susann Tate. She has studied and taught English in the US and abroad.

The very concept of language is amazing to me. The process by which a thought or an idea originating in the mind of one person can be conveyed into the mind of a second person with all of its nuances and complexities is truly wondrous. It is this unique and crowning human ability (even more so, I believe, than the opposable thumb) that has elevated mankind to the heights of civilization. Throughout history the conveyance of ideas and the resultant actions has both lifted some to their highest aspirations and nobilities as well as twisted others to the worst and lowest of degradations and malevolencies as can be imagined.

Beginning of Understanding

Language development begins in our earliest formative stages. Even before we are able to control the shapes and sounds of our utterances we begin to understand their meanings. Then, guided by those around us, we begin to utter and model those sounds which will one day become “communication.” We practice these essential skills – Sound and Meaning, Meaning and Syntax, Acceptance and Understanding, as well as Error and Frustration – until we are gradually able to make ourselves understood and to understand.

I was witness to this marvelous developmental process myself as I raised my two daughters. They are very close in age – only 11 months apart. As they grew and became increasingly verbal, they spent a lot of time together and developed some interesting language quirks between themselves. I have heard of the phenomenon of “twin” languages (“twin-speak” often called cryptophasia or idioglossia) where twins or young children close in age have frequently developed their own “language” – mysterious and unintelligible to all but themselves.  My daughters never developed their own communications anywhere near this degree; however, they did come up with some interesting language constructs and words or word usages made up between them to fill in gaps they had not yet gleaned from their natural – or model – language.

The most memorable of these was:

 “The Clo.” 

When they were about four years old, Barbie Dolls were a favorite plaything. They often spent hours together tucked away in their room surrounded by their imagined stories, dressing, playing acted out roles and redressing their Barbie Dolls. Occasionally (as with any two children that age) there would be conflicts requiring mom to come resolve the issue and smooth the ruffled feathers.

One day, they were suddenly in a real state of crisis and yelling loudly at each other and at me as they were each certain that they were being unjustly treated by the other. The conversation as I entered their room went something like this:

“She took my clo!”

“No, it’s my clo!”

“What is the matter? What ‘clo’ – What did she take?”

“It’s my clo.”

“What is a clo?”

“No, it’s my clo – my Barbie clo and she took it.”

“No, it’s my Barbie clo – I had it first.”

“What?”

“She took my Barbie clo!”

“No, it’s my Barbie clo!”

 [Ad infinitum…]

At this point, I was at a loss for words; I was stumped. I had not calmed anyone down nor lessened the noise level or the tension in the room. I didn’t even understand the CAUSE of the crisis.

After physically removing both of them from the room (and from all things “Barbie”) followed by several minutes of holding each of them and using soothing tones, I was able to determine the problem.

It seems that a “Clo” was their agreed upon term for a single item of clothing (the item of contention had been a single Barbie dress). They didn’t seem to know the word “clothing” yet and, you see, it can’t be “clothes” because it’s only ONE thing. Everyone knows that words that end in “s” mean more than one… 

They explained this to me with varying degrees of frustration, irritation and even anger that I didn’t seem to know this simple rule of language. They completely unwilling to accept my explanation that an item of “clothes” could mean just “one.”

I laughed as we re-affirmed which Barbie clothes (plural) were assigned to each girl for that day, and the offending “clo” was banished to the drawer for the time being (much to their joint aggravation). Things calmed down and the Barbie dressing games gradually resumed in peace and eventually into girlish giggling. 

After another laugh to myself in the next room, I considered their language development faux pas. After all, being a college graduate – and an English Major at that – how could l not know that an “s” sound at the end of a noun makes it plural?

The Complexities of Language Acquisition

Ah – The complexities of language… the English language in particular – having been thrown together, a jigsaw of words and language patterns from so many others.  It is indeed remarkable that we can assimilate and negotiate all the rules and exceptions to the rules – turning this hodgepodge language into what a native speaker feels like an easy and ordered flow of sound and meaning. 

I need to wonder then, when remembering my two young daughters struggling with one of the “simplest” constructs of their own native tongue – how can we expect others (immigrants for instance) to master this remarkable language with all its nuances in a year? Or even in several years of living among us?

Tell us your thoughts below.

Each Word Is a Poem

I love language and words. Each word has it's own story to tell from its sounds to its history. The sounds in a word convey the mood of the word. Think of the phrase "fight or flight." The i sound [ai] in both words moves from low to high in your mouth. It indicates action, which is exactly what fighting or fleeing is. It's also nice that the words rhyme.

The word bear tells its own story through its history. West Germanic tribes were afraid of bears, but wouldn't call them by their real name. Instead they called it 'the brown one,' now shortened to bear. Just this one word tells of fear, nomads, death and life.

Words have nuances of meaning that become new definitions. The word skip first meant to leap/jump/run, which it still retains, but added a new meaning of skipping class. The literal meaning of skip took on a figurative meaning of missing something because you jumped over it.

Each word has symbolism to it. Good is from Sanskrit gadhya of what one clings to. I want to cling to happy things, loving things, good things.

My name, Eileen, is from brilliance, like German hell (not inferno). I can be a light of knowledge and goodness.

So what word is a poem to you?